The Tolkien society is mad that someone used an image they have a copyright on because they bought the physical copy and God fuck the Tolkien society so hard.
yes! my favorites are The Tiger and the unnamed werewolf fridge poem
for context these are the poems
also I almost forgot but the r/ambien Gives Us The Sleep post takes a completely serious third place in my favorite poems list:
and COMING IN HOT at NUMBER FOUR on my list, it’s Fragment 147! an accidental poem created when the original parchment containing a text by Sappho was used to stop a wine jug more than 2,000 years ago- eventually the wine dissolved most of the parchment, leaving just a few words and BOY do they prove that the Universe has a sense of irony.
I COME TO YOU WITH AN IMPORTANT NEW ADDITION TO THE ACCIDENTAL POETRY LIST, FROM OUR VERY OWN TUMBLR DOT COM:
Y'all see what I mean when I say I get crap for it?
No! It is not a fetish! It’s this neat term called gender nonconforming. Y'see I’m a female, I was born as a female, but my ideal self would have a dick and no tits. I’ve had plenty of people tell me I’m confused, that I’m just trans, but they’re all wrong. I tried that, went through that gender exploration and it just wasn’t me, I’m not a guy.
It’s not a fetish to present the way I am, who I am. You wouldn’t call a nonbinary person fetishistic for wearing a binder right? I have a packer, a binder, an stp, these are things that aren’t strictly for trans folk and people need to start realizing that.
I always hear gender (and the way you present) is a spectrum but people really treat it as if there’s only three viable options. Cis, nb, and trans, while dressing accordingly to each. Stray from the image people have in their mind and suddenly your transphobic, your fetishizing other people for being who you are.
Basically, just fucking let people choose their own gender and present how they want. You’re a cis dude who wants tits? A vagina? Or go on E? Fucking go for it. You’re a cis girl who wants a dick? Doesn’t want breasts? Maybe you even want to go on T? More power to you.
Fuck the people who say you can’t be your ideal self. Fuck the people who say your body represents your gender. After all you wouldn’t say that to a trans person right? So why would you say it about anyone else’s gender?
If I gotta fight a million anons, make a million posts for people to understand they don’t have to stick to the three options society has made popular than I will.
If anyone wants to be shitty about this you can go through me first.
I hate that people call it transphobic to align this way, because, truthfully? What I see as transphobic is the insinuation that a flat chest and/or a penis is antithetical to femininity or womanhood. If you can’t accept cis women that feel more comfortable with a flat chest, or having a penis, or whatever other instance of gender nonconformity you’re gonna be shitty about, then not only is that real fucked up, but you’re also a hair’s breath from transmisogyny.
OP is absolutely right. People should be allowed to do whatever they want with their own bodies if it isn’t harming anyone. That’s just what bodily autonomy *is*.
Transphobia is an interesting term, because one of the core principals it revolves around is the destruction of bodily autonomy. So if you don’t believe people like OP deserve that right to bodily autonomy, you’re essentially stating that you only care about the fundamental bigotry that transphobia runs on if it has the “trans” prefix attached to it.
Leave people like OP alone.
When are we gonna get to the point where we stop looking for an “acceptable” queer target to bully? Cause this happened with bi people, then trans people, then pan people, then ace people, then aro people, then poly people, so on, so forth, and im sick of it.
I’m a non-op binary transgender man. I have a vagina! Given all the money in the world, I would still have a vagina. I’m a binary man who likes having a vagina. It’s not a fetish, it’s just a male vagina. Sometimes men have vaginas. Sometimes men *want* to have vaginas, and they are still men. Sometimes women *want* to have a penis, and they are still women. People should have access to whatever gender-affirming care that damn well pleases them.
When the ad shows you something you’re interested in, you click it, and it opens two tabs with one being a clear phishing scam and the other for some fuck app
When the same ad has played so many times that you can recite it word for word in time
So my mother recently got married (mashallah). And she set up this thing where guests were encouraged to take photos of the proceedings on their phones and text them in to a given number, after which they would be played as a slideshow on a screen at the front of the venue. I want you to take a minute to imagine how this went.
It began just about as you would expect. People taking photos of each other and the décor and taking selfies and having a good time. The slideshow was tasteful. Clearly not “professional,” but nice and personal.
And then people start getting a little drunk. A person who signs their work only as “Moo” posts this masterpiece:
[ID: a vertically oriented photo of a garbage can. A long table draped with lavender fabric at which the bride and groom are seated is in the background. The garbage can is centred in the frame, clearly the focus of the photo. End ID]
Someone at my table notices. “Is that… a photo of a garbage can? What?” We all express confusion and have a chuckle about it. Clearly someone is taking the prompt liberally. But the avant-garde approach to what is worthy of documenting does not end here, and our artist soon enters these submissions into the canon:
[ID: photos of a pendant fire sprinkler, a ceiling vent, a lightswitch, and a door handle. the photos show a casual, non-intensive approach to framing (neither perfectly even nor deliberately askew, &c.) end ID]
Meanwhile someone has uploaded this photo of the groom:
He is sitting at the bride and groom’s table alone with his hands clasped in front of him. I can’t show you his face but he has a bit of stubble and is wearing wire-framed rectangular glasses. I can best describe his vibe to you by saying that he wore this newsie cap to his wedding and this made perfect sense.
Using this photo, someone at our table makes their first few volleys:
[ID: the groom cut out of the photo from before and edited into an empty booth at an empty chain restaurant and an empty movie theatre, respectively. End ID]
At this point, basically everyone except the bride and groom have noticed, and are more or less following the evolution of this guérilla art project. Some people are trying to talk the instigators out of submitting their unworthy photos; others are riling them up.
Moo makes several more of their found object entries:
[ID: a cleaning schedule sign on a bathroom wall; a bathroom sign reading “men”; a digital thermostat; a framed photo of a smiling man, the sign for the men’s bathroom reflected in its glass. end ID]
And it goes back and forth like this for a while, Moo submitting objects (a close-up on the tines of their fork; a mop bucket; a framed fish head) and their nameless collaborator, not be to undone, putting the groom into more situations:
[ID: the groom’s head edited onto the body of a cast member in the Broadway musical Newsies, his cap causing him to blend in perfectly; the groom’s head edited onto Jamie’s head from Mythbusters as he poses next to Adam, his cap causing this edit to be perfectly seamless. end ID]
A further development in the form of these submissions occurs when The Editor invents reappropriation and collage, beginning to edit the groom into photos that other people have uploaded:
[ID: the photo of the groom at the table from earlier, edited so that there are two identical grooms sitting side-by-side: text over their heads reads “Just Married!”; another photo of the groom standing and smiling with a drink in his hand, apparently talking to another groom who is holding his stomach, throwing his head back and laughing aloud. end ID]
Meanwhile, Moo has taken his aesthetic ethos to its only possible logical conclusion:
A photo of a urinal. “Fountain,” Moo, iPhone camera, 2023.
People are now watching the screen even more actively, laughing each time a new silly photo arrives in the stream of genuine submissions. Moo submits a photo of a dented Pringles can seen through a grate in the street outside and a photo of a bag of road-salting ice. The photo of the groom at the table is edited so that he sports a towering Cat-in-the-Hat hat instead of the newsie cap; the groom is edited into an astronaut suit on the moon; he and the bride wearing her fur stole are edited as Jackie O. and JFK in the limo (this last The Editor wisely did not upload but sent only to me).
Not content, however, with editing the groom into non-wedding photos or with sabotaging earnest submissions to the photo album, The Editor proceeds to bring us full circle by reappropriating Moo’s recontextualisations, Sherrie Levine-like:
[ID: 1. the photo of the garbage can from earlier, with the groom edited onto the flap that you push garbage through; 2. the groom edited into the photo of the framed photograph from earlier; he has been made greyscale to match the photograph; 3. the photo of the urinal from above, with the groom edited into its bowl. end ID]
The people at Moo’s table (groom’s family) love this last submission (“Urine a Urinal,” Anonymous, iPhone camera, 2023). They watch the screen waiting for it to come up again, and when it does, they shout “there it is!” and laugh and clap.
Alas, our destabilisation of what constitutes artistic merit was not allowed to persist. Like the Society of Independent Artists sticking Duchamp’s “Fountain” behind a partition, the bride and groom silently deleted all of the unworthy submissions from the publicly shared album. Luckily, I saw this coming and was able to document the proceedings.
In conclusion, I recommend not crowdsourcing your wedding photos unless you have a very well-developed sense of humour.
